Paradox

I need to be in the 10 places at once

But I can’t even be in 1

How’s that for a paradox

How am I supposed to release myself

When I’m the one holding me back

The illusion is to complicated

There’s nothing to talk about

Riding the thin line between breaking even and falling into the abyss

Same difference

Supposed to meet you tomorrow

Secretly hoping that you’re late

Or maybe you just won’t show

Now that’s a perfect date

I’d rather reminisce on my own

Reflect all by myself

Trying to figure out what you did to me

Because you’re all I write about

And I don’t even know who you are

Or your true whereabouts

Your name always escapes me

I don’t know if you exist

The words ruin my day

Like I woke up on my bad side

They say misery is company

Well then I’ve got alot friends

In the sandbox of my subconscious

Digging up what’s buried down within

Tormented by my mind & soul

Both are out of line again

I’m just waiting for the daylight

For this nightmare just to end

To stop the darkness of this never ending night

For the chance to begin again

I just want to rest in peace

But I can’t fall asleep

Decisions and failures

Haunt me like a ghost

They don’t let me forget

All the things I regret the most

They always find a way in

But never see themselves out

They close the door and my soul is sad

Spontaneous trips back to the bottom

Looking for what I used to have

Or if there’s anything down there that I’m missing

Everything I do feels so wrong

All that I say doesn’t feel right

All the progress feels like nothing

The accomplishments are slight

The paradox that I’m living in

The places I’m supposed to be

The 1 place I cannot be in

And the 10 I need to be

Everything seems like nothing

And nothing is actually all

The further you make it to the top

The further that you fall

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