Different Way

It’s sad but true

I can’t see a different way

It’s sad but true

I can’t say what’s on my mind

You still occupy that space

Such tough lessons to learn

Now it’s to hard to say goodbye

I don’t know if I really even can

Sick of causing hurt my whole life

Pain everywhere I go

Im stuck inside my past

Like I’m living in a cocoon

And dreaming through foggy glass

I’m stuck in a haze

Living everyday in a daze

Continuously forever searching

Looking for a different way

I just want a bigger life

I want to serve my purpose

I just want to know myself

And know what my true worth is

I’m trying to get through the darkness

But my soul feels black as midnight

I’m trying to see the light that’s within my heart

But I can’t find my glasses

Where do we start

Where do we begin

When I look back at it

What maybe would’ve been

All the decisions making up points on the path

A spider web of choices

All the good and all the bad

All the right and all the wrong

It’s all led me to here

Where ultimately I feel fragmented

Failing and falling apart

Buired by my guilt

While I dig and scratch

With my hands tied behind my back

Just trying to get to the surface

Just trying to get one more breath

Trying to get back to square 1

So I can press restart yet again

Metamorphosis of myself

Rescuing what’s left of the tattered and abused

Another attempt to find out what went wrong

While I justify with another excuse

Rebuild on a foundation that’s been smashed down to pieces

A redesign of what’s left of the broken

Reconstruction of a new structure

That will hopefully hold up this time

To hopefully get me through

Then maybe I can sort out

What all this shit is about

And why I am so damaged

To find out why

I can’t cry

Yet I am so fucking miserable

I feel all the pain

But my soul is completely numb

Being played like a game

Tormented just for fun

It’s sad but true

Because looking back I caused it all

Every decision I’ve ever made

Was like a setup to make me fall

Checkmate

Now here I am face down on the floor

Without much left to give

Now here I am face down on the ground

Where I can’t see a different way

Its sad but true

Never thought it would come to this

It’s sad but true

Never could have forseen the reality that is